Subject: Ugliest official ships Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:27 pm
When I looked through the full set of Ocean's Edge I got around Christmas, I was dismayed at just how ugly some of the ships are. A few of them are otherwise ok but ruined by a bad touch here and there, while the artwork on others is unsalvageable.
I'm looking at the USS Oregon right now and it's one of the former. The deck is nice and detailed and the hull has a simple white stripe on black, nothing outlandish, though they didn't bother to give the hull any sort of planking effect. It's just black. The sails are not just plain, they literally look like giant plastic grocery bags. Still, forgivable - but look closely at the picture. No, it's not a mirrored image, the name of the ship is actually printed backward on that side. And it has this awful Twilight vampire sparkly effect behind it. No offense to Riz but I'd be ashamed to live in the state this ship is named after.
OE had a lot of bad ships and I'll get to those, but what are some of the ugliest you guys have seen?
Oh yeah, that's pretty bad. Though to be fair, a fan designed that, not a WK employee. And I assume fans voted for it, so I blame the fans.
Another OE eyesore: the Seattle. Again the deck is nice, but the sails lack any detail and have some bizarre Egyptian eye on them. I cannot think of how that even remotely relates to Seattle. The hull is terrible too - a blue and white swoopty pattern with a neon green stripe. No planking effect. And a big ugly red fire escape ladder running down the side. And the name is written in bright yellow with a shadow under it. I really suspect it was done by the same guy who did the Oregon. He may as well have just made it green and stuck a mermaid on it.
Another OE eyesore: the Seattle. Again the deck is nice, but the sails lack any detail and have some bizarre Egyptian eye on them. I cannot think of how that even remotely relates to Seattle.
OK now you are two for two. I live in Oregon, but grew up in Seattle!
Anyway, the eye on the Seattle does fit the name, it is not an Egyptian eye, but rather a totemic eye. Seattle is very big on the totem pole, and the eye(s) on the Seattle are almost dead on what the Native Americans of the Seattle area use on their poles.
Ah. I read up on the origin of the city's name to see if I was missing anything, but didn't realize the eye was totemic. Some more pronounced Pacific Coast tribal art would have been kind of cool actually. Red, black blue and white seem to be the predominate color scheme, which would have been a lot better than what they went with.
One from PotC that's always bugged me is the Dauntless. Great ship, and basically solid artwork, but so many small problems detract from it. Why does it only have one row of below-deck cannons and why are they all so impractically huge? (Nevermind that the five-masted ship is described as having only 50 guns.) Easily four times larger than the top-deck guns. There's no aft-cabin, just a faint quarter-circle painted on either side. The deck is strangely barren, no wheel or capstan or cargo or anything. The silver masts and spars are a nice touch, but that blue racing stripe on each one (and the middle one isn't even the same color) makes it look like they were going for a racecar effect.
Another OE eyesore: the Seattle. Again the deck is nice,
The Abomination is truly ugly indeed, but I can also understand the Sponge Bob generation calling it (with gusto) AWESOME.
You other examples, USS Oregon, Seattle and Dauntless are all similar: generally fine but with some defects. I don't think they qualify as "Ugliest" by any stretch of imagination.
For me, both Black Pearl and Flying Dutchman from DPoC are very weak. They are neither attractive nor realistic, nor accurate to the movie(s). They're my tentative selection as "ugliest" artwork, but I am sure there are worse offender if I were to scan thru the whole database.
IMHO, the whole set of windcatchers doesn't belong in the Pirates game. The hulls look like luxury yacht belonging in the 1980s, but the sails borrowed the sensibility of Pokemon. If these things are to be associated with pirates, I can only think of them as helpless victims in the hands of Somali or (fantastic) post-modern cigar-chomping cocaine-trafficking pirates of the Caribbeans. Of the 5, I nominate Mystic as the textbook case of UGLY. I want to break into song & dance "WHOO~WHEEE~~~ What up wid that!"
The original Atlanta, from FN, had an attractive color scheme; the new one makes my eyes bleed. Gold coating on the hull and a blinged-out aft-cabin. They even drew in little "ting-ting" sparkles. And the sails look like bedsheets. But at least it conveys the flavor text assertion that the captain is disgustingly rich. The Strix? I can't even guess.
The sails aren't too bad, though they're different colors and the giant bones as masts is silly. And they just have a generic skull-n-bones drawn on them.
But oh my gosh that hull - green snakeskin?! And I just noticed, the gallery windows are the same as the Atlanta, just pallet-swapped to be pink and gold. How does any of this convey "pirate-hunter" and not "hideous hodge-podge"? It doesn't even have anything to do with the namesake of the ship, which is like an evil mythological death-owl and not a lizard.
The Abomination is over-the-top ugly, which I think is why it does end up looking kind of cool after awhile - I don't actually own it, of course, but a close inspection of the photo reveals it is actually quite well done.
Ugly ships on my list unquestionably include all the English ships with the ridiculous Union Jacks pasted all over them - the Tower, HMS Ram, HMS Diamond, and Lucy's Luck are the worst offenders. The designers' imaginations must have been running dry when they made these up, as in, "I know, let's put Union Jacks on them, they're English after all!" - maybe a little more effort next time, there, guys, 'k?
The Philadelphia is unique, but it is also quite bland, as is the Hannah. The Harlequin with the blue decking should look better than it does, but it somehow ends up just being ugly. The HMS Mayfair also is not much to look at, but then many of the ships from DJC had that dark, sinister look going for them, so it's hard to judge - I'd say it's just plug-ugly, but someone else might have a different opinion.
Although I think all the galleys look pretty cool, I must admit I've never really liked the purple-y look of the Queen of Sheba, and the Terror's sickly green color kind of detracts from an otherwise awesome submarine design.
Angelica is not much to look at either, other than for being a sea dragon, she has very basic coloring and is far outdone by the stunning Shal-Bala and the breath-taking Raptor Maw.
There may be a few others I missed, but these are the ones that came to mind right away.
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